"How Do We Stand Each Other?"

Peggy Ann Brainerd Way (courtesy of Vanderbilt University Special Collections and University Archives)

In 1981, on my first day of Seminary, my professor, Rev. Dr. Peggy Ann Way asked a question that has continued to trouble and inspire me all of these years; "Jesus said we need to love one another," she began, "but my question is 'How can we stand each other? Love is easy, compared to this, but actually liking one another, getting along with one another? Now that is another story!'"

I found Dr. Way's comment jarring. For most of my life I had attempted to push down any thoughts of not liking someone. I was uncomfortable admitting that there were times when I disagreed with other people. In truth, I did not know what to do in those situations, and usually just retreated into silence. It was rare that I would actually argue with someone or even stand up for something I believed in, if I found myself to be alone in those ideas.

Dr. Way encouraged us to reflect on the fact that most churches and religious organizations tend to be homogeneous. They are made up of people who are similar to one another, because people gravitate toward others who are like themselves. It is not difficult to work together when we all see the world from the same perspective, when our experiences in life are similar. The tricky part comes when people are different from one another. 

The challenge for us, as people of faith, is to figure out how to work together in a heterogeneous group. Jesus's followers are not all the same. We are very, very different. Dr. Way broke into my musings saying, "We, as religious leaders, need to honor and include diverse voices and opinions. This is what it means to be the Church. How will you do this?"

Even now, retired from active ministry, I continue to ask myself Dr. Way's question. How will I honor diverse voices today? This is especially difficult when I vehemently disagree with what those voices are saying. The best I can manage is to listen to what is being said underneath the words. What fears and insecurities are being addressed? What is the true cause of that anger or frustration? 

I believe listening to diverse voices gives us insights that can defuse the anger and fear we encounter. As people of faith, we can locate ourselves in the "in-between places". We can stand with the vulnerable folks in our midst, while doing what we can to disarm the hate and violence that are prevalent. In the spirit of Dr. Way's message, this is what it means to be the Church.

*Quotes attributed to Dr. Way are rendered as remembered, to the best of my ability. Any misinterpretations of her intentions are my responsibility.