Winter Winds

Wintertime can be harsh

for those who live outdoors

birds flock to black sunflower seeds

scattered over frozen earth

as squirrels perform acrobatics

upending the feeder

What was a cozy nest in springtime

now hangs by threads

woven branches and fluff

exposed

offering no respite

from these winter winds

My friend and I wandered through the town cemetery today, talking about our lives, stopping to marvel at ancient cedars, inscriptions on the gravestones, and to watch a hawk fly. Somehow, being in the cemetery, with its evidence of so many lives lived, did something to my heart. The air was cold, and it was windy. When we came upon this broken-down nest, it made me think of those who do not have a home where they can shelter from the cold. It seemed symbolic of the unravelling of safety nets in our country.

I know we can do better. We can care for one another. If we put our hearts into it, we can push aside power-hungry greed and make way for kindness and compassion. We can ensure that all are protected from the harsh winter winds.

 

So Many Decembers

so many Decembers

I long for snow

for some sign

that the season is 

more than sticks of brown 

against grey skies

today, a gift

bright blue overhead

cumulous clouds floating by

sparkles everywhere

as snow continues to fall

 

Bear Tracks & Gratitude

When I visit my sister, down in New Jersey, we make sure to take a nice long walk together. It was late afternoon when we found our way to the trail on this snowy and cold December day. "Let's go to the second bridge," she suggested, and I agreed. 

We walked along, talking about our lives. Fresh from our uncle's funeral, we reminisced about our childhood, when our families gathered to celebrate the holidays. The length of time between then and now took our breath away. We walked in silence for a while.

Reaching the second bridge, I saw tracks in the snow. Bear tracks. Sue went on ahead of me, while I stood over the tracks, taking pictures and marveling that only a short time ago, a bear had walked this very path! 

The encounter got me to wondering about all the creatures who walk along the same paths as we, of whom we never see any sign. I thought about our responsibility for those hidden neighbors, to ensure the waters run clear and the winds blow fresh. To ensure that there is freedom and space for the wild ones who prefer to keep their distance.

I also contemplated the uplift my heart feels whenever I see a sign that some rare (or common) creature has passed this way. The gift of knowing that we share this place, this earth, with those who are so different from us, and yet who are also, in some unique ways, so similar.

Gratitude filled me up, and buoyed my spirit as Sue and I, and her faithful dog, Nik turned back toward home.

Beautiful Silence

The snow is falling steadily today

beautiful

just beautiful

but

when it comes to snow

vision is not primary

such silence

everything hushed so profoundly

I hear each snowflake

fall through the sky

a descant

coming down to earth

landing as a tiny secret

indistinguishable to the eye

 from all the rest

beautiful

just beautiful

 

Reading Without Guilt (Mostly)

 Today was cold, with a bitter wind blowing. When I first woke up and sat on the couch with my tea and meditations, the snow that hit the window just over my shoulder took the form of pellets. Needless to say, I did not feel drawn to hurry outside for my daily constitutional.

Winter hits pretty hard when it comes here to Vermont. It can catch me off guard, lulling me in with sunny autumn days when I can hang my laundry outside and let it dry in the soft breezes.

I took my walk, but later than usual. Hung the laundry inside near the wood stove, made some soup with the Thanksgiving leftovers, and then, settled in by the fire to read. My book caught me up in its world as darkness fell.

What little guilt I had for reading my day away was absolved by reminding myself “it’s for book club. I have to finish it by Thursday!”

But then I wondered why guilt comes up, at all? With so many wonderful books to read, why do I chastise myself for taking the time to actually sit down and read some of them? Maybe, just maybe, it is my responsibility to read more books, to make it worth the while of all those hope filled authors who spent days agonizing over plot and character and turns of phrase.

I like this thought. Maybe this is a part of my charge as a retired person, one small way to make good use of my time.

Thanksgiving

I am grateful for the little things that make life so meaningful:

Nourishment for body, mind and spirit

Family gatherings

Friends around the table

Conversations that draw me in

Sunshine after clouds

Earthy scents of fresh air

Flowing streams and ocean waves

Deep breaths that calm

Smiles of welcome

A full heart

 

Tiny Doses of Gratitude

 

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and because of this, thoughts of gratitude are in the air. 

So often, we think that gratitude has to be related to something BIG. We assume that the bigger the better, the bigger, the more gratitude generated. But I just listened to a program on the radio on which the professor spoke of research that has proven gratitude is especially valuable when we feel it for many little things throughout our day.

It is better to look for and notice small things you are grateful for as you go about your daily life. Weaving appreciation through your day is more effective in terms of actually helping us become more grateful, more positive, than setting aside a special time to reflect on what you are grateful for once a day.

The whole idea is to build your gratitude muscle, as you might any other muscle. 

The picture I posted above is of my favorite vacation place. When I am there, I definitely feel gratitude for all I see and experience. But what that story reminded me, is to recognize what I am grateful for in my ordinary life. To remember that there is extraordinary value in appreciating the simple pleasures of my home and my life here. 

Tiny doses of gratitude can add up to big changes in attitude.

Fostering Community

 Fostering community

building bridges

offering help

being of service

reaching out

seeking out

ways to contribute

This community

my home

where roots stretched into the soil

more than 30 years ago

still draws my heart

requires something

of me

whether hands or heart

changes with circumstances

All I know

is that I choose 

to respond

to be a part of things

here

After Anxiety

Looking back on the past few weeks

I see that anxiety

held me tight

all the "what ifs"

were negative

taking me down

But here's the thing -

everything went smoothly

plane trip

family reunion

close quarters

wedding

When I got home

had time to reflect

and none of those "what ifs"

became real

Instead

new possibilities 

edged them out

inspiring hope

maybe,

just maybe

normalcy is possible

even in the midst of chaos

I do not have to own

broader-perspective chaos

I do not have to 

let it in

I can just let it fester

on the hot sidewalk

of compassion

watch it shrivel up

and disappear

Anxiety 

does not define me

Chaos

cannot claim me

if I choose

to remain steady

to breathe deeply

to hope for better

Out The Door

 Leaving

is harder than staying put

but opens the door

(literally!)

to all kinds of adventures

Today the doors

that open for us

lead to North Carolina

and Caitlin and Paul

and Ellie too!

for their wedding

Such joy

may it carry us 

past the thresholds

and into all that is possible

and "Yes!"

Stealing Jesus

As a minister, I am well aware that people sometimes interpret scripture in ways that support their own predilections. It horrifies me, whenever I encounter it, but drawing from my teenage participation in a rather fundamentalist youth group, I assumed God would judge them for it. Justice will be served, I assured myself, even though it might take some time.

These days, however, there are so many ways in which Jesus's teachings and those of other prophets, are being manipulated to favor greed and the urge for power, that I wonder if the arc of justice can ever bend enough to right the accumulated wrongs.

They have stolen Jesus

manipulated his words

done violence 

against the beloved

beleaguered ones

So many good people

wanting to be faithful

buy the message

of greed and power

they don't realize

those slick speakers

have kidnapped Jesus

abandoned the voiceless

shoved aside

peace and compassion

Fear dominates our thoughts

tries to hold us hostage too

dare we protest?

speak truth 

tenderly

courageously

into the cacophony

of hubris

Last Tomato

sitting on the cutting board

half gone already

to Gary's salad

unaware

(both he and perhaps the tomato)

this was the last one

fresh from the garden

of good friends

shared with generosity

out of abundance, yes,

but frosty nights 

loomed

And here we are

the last of a whole red basketful

bursting with flavor

sweet in a way

store-bought cannot comprehend

delighted in with

slow breaths

closed eyes

wide smile

ecstatic tastebuds

savoring summer

 

Golden Light

Golden light 

surrounds me

just for a week or so

when the beeches turn

from summer's green

to autumn gold

This gold 

a kaliedescope

of every variant

green to yellow to brown

overwhelms me

every time

I stop my car

trying to take it in

but that is never enough

I get home

climb out of the driver's seat

and walk back

to that beautiful 

tunnel of molten light

stand

taking it in 

with every molecule of awareness

When the leaves are gone

blown by wind

pummeled by rain

too tired to hold on

when stark branches 

lift against wintry skies

remember what it felt like

when golden light

was everywhere

 

Samhain Moon

Tonight may be 

a super moon

beaver moon

and lovely

for all that hype

but 

I favor

Samhain's moon

with whom I spent 

Saturday evening

standing in the meadow

gazing mesmerized

as clouds shifted

across her face 

We circled the cairn

carrying stones 

filling them 

with prayers and hope

placing them

under her watchful eye

on that thin-veiled night

 

While the Sun Shines

 

While the sun shines

there is much to do

fill the woodbox

hang out laundry

mow the lawn

wash the windows

So easy to consider

all the details

making up survival

these, of course

must be done 

sometime

easier in clement weather

But what about thriving?

what about joy?

caring for the soul?

lifting my spirits?

My new list

while the sun is shining: 

wander in the woods

sit by the stream

soak in the golden warmth

stretch out in my hammock

paint the light

write a poem

Sophia's Circle

 

I look around

eight women

from 40-something to 91

so many years

of finding pathways

through the chaos and joys

living brings

Holding faith

in heart and mind

letting it guide

encourage

and simply hold steady

when the storms are rough

roads treacherous

and uncertainty reigns

In this moment

after so many tears

and "opportunities for growth"

wisdom is shared

no clear-cut answers

simply insights and support

as we sit in this circle

face to compassionate face

Halloween Comes with Invitations

Halloween comes with invitations:

choose an identity!

get creative!

dress up!

trick or treat!

dance!

let go of the old!

For the Celts

the veil is thin

Samhain, as they know it 

sits on the cusp

a new year just about to dawn

but first

honor the old

recognize what is yours

and what is not

again, the message comes

let go

now we enter interior time

you are invited 

to go within

ever deeper

breath here

let your shoulders relax

your heartbeat slow

be here now

is all you are asked

 

Rain after Drought

It has been a long, dry autumn here

leaves crunching underfoot

even more pronounced than usual

missing the usual scent

of rich earthy-leafy goodness,

"my" stream dry as a bone

even after a few earlier storms

But I am hopeful today

We woke to rain -

torrents - they would say

two inches an hour

a record of some sort

winds, too

It feels like relief to me

despite almost losing power

and needing to put off my morning walk

so I don't get soaked to the bone

I long to go outside

smell the earth waking up

feel the air ozone-fresh

see the stream flowing

experience something moving 

in me, as well

breaking the drought

 

 

Each Breath a Blessing

I walk a lot

Even when arthritis is acting up

I can't help myself

There is so much that feeds me

out in the world

trees, flowers, mosses, streams, rocks

and all of the creatures

scurrying or flying away in alarm

I murmur my apologies

for upsetting the natural order of things

wishing I was more an accepted part of it all

Settling down by the stream edge

even when the water has gone underground

there is peace here

a quiet

that my soul needs

Breath by breath

blessings given and received

Aware that I am the one

most blessed

by these walks

by these moments

My July 4th Cherry Pie

 

Early on July 4th I was driving home from a friend's house. NPR had a story on about the town of George, Washington and how they celebrate the 4th by baking the world's largest cherry pie. This year's pie was said to measure 8 feet by 8 feet! 

The story caught my attention because I had not been feeling particularly excited about celebrating freedom or democracy in the current climate. Every day there are multiple reports about how the freedoms of average Americans are being eroded. How the freedoms of anybody who does not fit the white christian nationalist stereotype of a US citizen are being snatched away. Literally. People are being kidnapped off the streets by masked weapon-bearing men, and taken to undisclosed locations, often shipped out of the country, sometimes to a holding center in a country with which they have no relationship. These techniques are all about creating fear in the "land of the free and the home of the brave". It is hard to be brave under these conditions, and this is clearly not an ideal time to celebrate independence - national or personal.

The story about George, Washington caught hold of my imagination because this strikes me as a good time to get creative in our responses to the atrocities being waged. Protests are good. I understand that we need at least 3.5% of the population to show up regularly in order to turn the tide of politics, and we are edging close to that. Conversations with people are also good. We need to keep talking about what is happening, trying to put it into some kind of historical context, and wrestle it away from those who purport to be following God's will. (No Way is this what is going on! The complete opposite, actually.)  Showing up is vital also, to ensure that those who are being targeted by ICE and others are not left standing alone.

But sometimes the overwhelming tension of living under these conditions gets the better of me, and I simply cannot find it within myself to do anything. Baking a cherry pie was my small act of protest. I did not go to a parade. I did not attend a fireworks display. I did not host a barbeque for all of my friends and neighbors. (Although, that could have been nice.) What I did was go to the nearest orchard with my husband and spend an hour picking tart cherries. We brought our 18 pound haul back home where I washed, pitted and packaged up 16 pounds of them. Then, with the remaining 2 pounds I made a pie. 

It was delicious. It was just what I needed. That pie reminded me of what is best about this country that I live in, this country that I love. It reminded me of the story about George Washington, (the one for whom that little town in Washington state is named), wherein the father of our country admits that he cannot lie. What a concept! I long for leaders who are honest, for leaders who have enough integrity to admit when they are wrong. I long for leaders who actually lead rather than using and abusing their authority to create chaos and fear, undermining the values that this country was built on.

"Bad Faith" - Acting on Good Faith

 On a friend’s recommendation, I watched the documentary, “Bad Faith” now streaming on Prime. It outlines the history of white christian nationalism, showing how this racist power movement has systematically undermined authentic faith, replacing it with an autocratic organization that stands in opposition to Jesus’s teachings.

When I was a new pastor, someone told a joke about a teenager going out and doing what the pastor had preached about in his sermon. The teen’s parents came in to speak with the pastor, asking him to recant what he had said. “Tell Joey that you were just preaching,” they said. “Tell him you didn’t really mean it.” I thought the joke was funny, but it was funny because the parents did not understand the power of preaching. They did not get the fact that one’s faith is meant to be lived out in very real ways.

Now, the joke does not seem as funny to me. Too many of us, especially those of us who count ourselves as liberal or progressive, do not seem to take our faith seriously enough to act on it. This needs to change. We need to change our ways, and stand up for the values we believe in as people of faith. We need to call out bad faith for what it is, and find our way back to the revolutionary faith of Jesus who called out false leaders for what they were.

Unfortunately, the folks who fell into the white christian nationalist trap did take their faith seriously. They did act, but they didn’t realize they were being duped by a racist agenda and by leaders who turned a blind eye to Jesus’s actual teachings in order to gain political power.

Maybe the religious leaders thought they could return to Jesus once their president and his cronies had control of the White House, but at this point there are no efforts by those in leadership to uphold the values of justice, compassion and mercy that are at the heart of faith for Christians and all authentic religions. If anything, we are seeing the opposite. The vulnerable are being exploited. Honesty and integrity are being run over roughshod. Truth is being submersed in a quagmire of lies.

When encouraged to show mercy, rather than seeing this as an invitation to become a true leader in keeping with Christ’s teachings, the president lashed out, calling the preacher’s comments “nasty in tone” and saying she should not have brought politics into the church. But faith needs to speak up about politics, especially when those in leadership are causing harm.

From the beginning, Jesus spoke truth to power and encouraged his followers to do the same. Good faith depends on our speaking up and taking action. What will you do?

The Bindness of Privilege

I understand the draw of water, the sense of peace it offers. It makes sense to me that people find their way to the ocean for times of respite and relaxation. But for many people, such as Palestinians, peace is too distant for them to imagine.

The contrast that Trump tactlessly drew between the Riviera and war-torn Gaza horrified me. It was a blatant display of the ignorance that a life of privilege, and its concordant disconnection from the realities that most people face, brings. People in Gaza have lost everything - loved ones, homes, communities, their entire way of life! And he has the audacity to suggest that these people be relocated to a country that is not their home, while their homes and communities be bulldozed out of the way to create an upscale resort!

The ignorance of one’s privilege is bad enough, but it is appalling when the president we have elected to lead our country displays such blatant disregard for the lives of others. If we cannot count on our leader(s) to lead us with integrity, wisdom or compassion, then we need to step up and step out.

We need to refuse to be led into the white-supremacist world Trump envisions, and start doing everything we can to create a different, better world. Start where you are. Talk with your family, friends and neighbors about the privilege and racism being promoted by the current administration. Conspire with one another about ways to be the kind and compassionate people that this world needs in every situation.

It is only by standing up and stepping out of the dystopian reality that is attempting to infiltrate our lives, that we can create the reality in which all people are valued, respected, listened to, and believed.

"How Do We Stand Each Other?"

Peggy Ann Brainerd Way (courtesy of Vanderbilt University Special Collections and University Archives)

In 1981, on my first day of Seminary, my professor, Rev. Dr. Peggy Ann Way asked a question that has continued to trouble and inspire me all of these years; "Jesus said we need to love one another," she began, "but my question is 'How can we stand each other? Love is easy, compared to this, but actually liking one another, getting along with one another? Now that is another story!'"

I found Dr. Way's comment jarring. For most of my life I had attempted to push down any thoughts of not liking someone. I was uncomfortable admitting that there were times when I disagreed with other people. In truth, I did not know what to do in those situations, and usually just retreated into silence. It was rare that I would actually argue with someone or even stand up for something I believed in, if I found myself to be alone in those ideas.

Dr. Way encouraged us to reflect on the fact that most churches and religious organizations tend to be homogeneous. They are made up of people who are similar to one another, because people gravitate toward others who are like themselves. It is not difficult to work together when we all see the world from the same perspective, when our experiences in life are similar. The tricky part comes when people are different from one another. 

The challenge for us, as people of faith, is to figure out how to work together in a heterogeneous group. Jesus's followers are not all the same. We are very, very different. Dr. Way broke into my musings saying, "We, as religious leaders, need to honor and include diverse voices and opinions. This is what it means to be the Church. How will you do this?"

Even now, retired from active ministry, I continue to ask myself Dr. Way's question. How will I honor diverse voices today? This is especially difficult when I vehemently disagree with what those voices are saying. The best I can manage is to listen to what is being said underneath the words. What fears and insecurities are being addressed? What is the true cause of that anger or frustration? 

I believe listening to diverse voices gives us insights that can defuse the anger and fear we encounter. As people of faith, we can locate ourselves in the "in-between places". We can stand with the vulnerable folks in our midst, while doing what we can to disarm the hate and violence that are prevalent. In the spirit of Dr. Way's message, this is what it means to be the Church.

*Quotes attributed to Dr. Way are rendered as remembered, to the best of my ability. Any misinterpretations of her intentions are my responsibility.

Untangling the Web of White Christian Nationalism

A Defense Intelligence Agency memo, dated Jan. 28, 2025, directs the DIA workforce to suspend observance of the following: Martin Luther King, Jr. Birthday, Black History Month, Women's History Month, Holocaust Day and Days of Remembrance, Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month, Pride, Juneteenth, Women's Equality Day, National Hispanic Heritage Month, National Disability Employment Awareness Month and National American Indian Heritage Month.

These days and months commemorate events and people who have been overlooked and outright abused by those in power. By "suspending" the observance of them, our government is trying to return to the days in which they could pretend ignorance of these abuses. But this is like that old children's sermon that uses a tube of toothpaste to show that once the paste has been squeezed out, it is almost impossible to get it back into the tube. 

We have seen the videos and heard the stories, so we can no longer pretend that we do not know about the injustices sustained by our black and brown friends. We cannot wipe from our minds the reality that is the Holocaust, and the continuing discrimination faced by our Jewish sisters and brothers. We cannot make believe that misogyny is in our past when women's sovereignty over their own bodies is denied. 

As a person of faith, I stand in a long line of those who have stood up against racism, sexism, agism, ableist mindsets. For a while there, we thought we had made some progress. Things were looking better. There was still plenty of room for improvement, but we had hope that justice for all was within reach.

But now, the people who want to go back to the "good old days" of white supremacy have elected a president who is using his power to upend all of the good we have accomplished. he has gathered people around him who whisper platitudes in his ear, hoping they will be rewarded with more money, more power, more rolling back of the progressive laws that get in the way of increasing their wealth and power.

One of the frustrating aspects of this power grab, is that white christian nationalism is an insidious part of the mix. But we need to make it clear that this is not Christianity. It is not even close. Christianity stands in absolute opposition to the agenda of white christian nationalism. The trouble is, that savvy leaders in that movement have used christian language in an attempt to draw people into their web of deceit. 

As people of faith, we need to untangle that web. We need to denounce white christian nationalism and its agenda of greed and power. We need to make clear the teachings of Jesus who was himself a brown man, who aligned himself with the poor and the powerless. Christianity is not a prosperity gospel. It does not honor the rich or powerful. In fact, Jesus told a wealthy young man that it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a wealthy person to get into heaven. 

I believe Jesus. I also understand that heaven is a long way off for most of us, and that we want this world to be a kinder, more peaceful, and more just place for all of God's children. In order for this to happen, we need to stand up and speak up - scary as that may be.

Picking Up the Pieces

I have been experiencing a dry period with regard to my blog posts. My faith in humanity is shaken and I find myself needing time to recalibrate. It is simply beyond my comprehension that we have elected the current administration. There were so many signs that this was a bad idea, that I thought it was impossible for Trump to succeed in getting elected. How could so many people actually vote for someone who attempted to circumvent the democratic process once and clearly stated he would dismantle it if he got into office? How could people vote for a sexist, racist bully who wields wealth and power as if they give him the right to do whatever he wants? Did the people who voted for him think he was just kidding when he said all of those awful things? That he was using hyperbole? 

However it happened, after the election, I needed to take some time to deal with my disappointment, get over the shock, and regroup. But now, the negative effects are accumulating and I know it is time to pick up the pieces and speak up. I cannot even begin to enumerate all of the ways in which the safety rails many of us counted on are falling apart. Some dictates are coming down from Trump and the billionaires and other pandering folks who have gathered around him seeking their own piece of the power pie. But the effects that cause me the most alarm are the more localized ones. The more personal attacks enacted by everyday people.

Ugly text messages are being sent to children, attacking them on the basis of color, gender identity, or nationality. Hate mail and death threats are being sent to good people who are simply working toward justice in their communities. Confederate flags fly over homes, silently threatening the serenity and security of black and brown neighbors. School children mutter epithets under their breath to kids who are different from themselves, and the adults in their lives either encourage this behavior or throw up their hands in resignation, assuming they have no control over them.

I can't help but wonder if we have not necessarily lost control, but rather that we have chosen to abdicate control. It seems to me that many of us have given up our autonomy. We have abdicated our rights. Instead of discerning for ourselves what to think and how to respond in any given situation, we have given away the power of personal choice to the highest bidder. 

There is a lot of uncertainty right now, and along with uncertainty comes fear. When you don't know what is going to happen next, it can seem sensible to lay low for a while until we see what unfolds. The problem with this, is that our friends and neighbors, and a whole lot of people we may not know, are being affected negatively right now. If we hold back, if we withhold our comments until we are more certain, then it will already be too late to protect the most vulnerable in our midst. 

The time to speak up is now. Pay attention, and "if you see something, say something!" The time to act on behalf of justice for all, is now.