The Shape of Anger

 I spent an hour

looking for an image -

one that depicts

the essence

of this poem

of my feelings

of this moment

But nothing

does justice

What does anger look like, anyway

and frustration,

coupled with almost-but not quite-

despair?

I look out at the grey sky

clouds heavy with rain

winds bending the trees,

no birds on the lawn,

and that almost reflects

what I am feeling inside

But this storm will pass.

Anger, frustration, near-despair,

however,

these will continue to churn

fed by the constant fuel

in each day's news

and the realities 

of a country ruled by

narcissism and greed

I want to find a way 

forward - to a better world

where honesty holds sway,

where compassion and justice

are more than words

I want to find a way

back to the heart and soul

of who we can be

as we reshape the American dream

to include all her children

no exceptions

In This Moment

In this moment

all seems well

I am warm and well fed

I have a place to lay my head down

In this moment

I have all that I need

but if I look beyond 

the immediate present

out into the world at large

my heart starts beating quickly

anxieties arise.

So many things I used to count on

freedom

justice

compassion

law and order

are blowing in the wind.

Innocent people 

are being shot

by government agents

black and brown people

are being targeted,

harassed and questioned

new immigrants

are being deported

for no reason

except that they

do not align 

with racist ideals 

of what Americans

look like

speak like.

In this moment

all may seem well

but trouble is close

breathing down our necks

we dare not ignore

the signs

of an approaching storm.

My July 4th Cherry Pie

 

Early on July 4th I was driving home from a friend's house. NPR had a story on about the town of George, Washington and how they celebrate the 4th by baking the world's largest cherry pie. This year's pie was said to measure 8 feet by 8 feet! 

The story caught my attention because I had not been feeling particularly excited about celebrating freedom or democracy in the current climate. Every day there are multiple reports about how the freedoms of average Americans are being eroded. How the freedoms of anybody who does not fit the white christian nationalist stereotype of a US citizen are being snatched away. Literally. People are being kidnapped off the streets by masked weapon-bearing men, and taken to undisclosed locations, often shipped out of the country, sometimes to a holding center in a country with which they have no relationship. These techniques are all about creating fear in the "land of the free and the home of the brave". It is hard to be brave under these conditions, and this is clearly not an ideal time to celebrate independence - national or personal.

The story about George, Washington caught hold of my imagination because this strikes me as a good time to get creative in our responses to the atrocities being waged. Protests are good. I understand that we need at least 3.5% of the population to show up regularly in order to turn the tide of politics, and we are edging close to that. Conversations with people are also good. We need to keep talking about what is happening, trying to put it into some kind of historical context, and wrestle it away from those who purport to be following God's will. (No Way is this what is going on! The complete opposite, actually.)  Showing up is vital also, to ensure that those who are being targeted by ICE and others are not left standing alone.

But sometimes the overwhelming tension of living under these conditions gets the better of me, and I simply cannot find it within myself to do anything. Baking a cherry pie was my small act of protest. I did not go to a parade. I did not attend a fireworks display. I did not host a barbeque for all of my friends and neighbors. (Although, that could have been nice.) What I did was go to the nearest orchard with my husband and spend an hour picking tart cherries. We brought our 18 pound haul back home where I washed, pitted and packaged up 16 pounds of them. Then, with the remaining 2 pounds I made a pie. 

It was delicious. It was just what I needed. That pie reminded me of what is best about this country that I live in, this country that I love. It reminded me of the story about George Washington, (the one for whom that little town in Washington state is named), wherein the father of our country admits that he cannot lie. What a concept! I long for leaders who are honest, for leaders who have enough integrity to admit when they are wrong. I long for leaders who actually lead rather than using and abusing their authority to create chaos and fear, undermining the values that this country was built on.

"Bad Faith" - Acting on Good Faith

 On a friend’s recommendation, I watched the documentary, “Bad Faith” now streaming on Prime. It outlines the history of white christian nationalism, showing how this racist power movement has systematically undermined authentic faith, replacing it with an autocratic organization that stands in opposition to Jesus’s teachings.

When I was a new pastor, someone told a joke about a teenager going out and doing what the pastor had preached about in his sermon. The teen’s parents came in to speak with the pastor, asking him to recant what he had said. “Tell Joey that you were just preaching,” they said. “Tell him you didn’t really mean it.” I thought the joke was funny, but it was funny because the parents did not understand the power of preaching. They did not get the fact that one’s faith is meant to be lived out in very real ways.

Now, the joke does not seem as funny to me. Too many of us, especially those of us who count ourselves as liberal or progressive, do not seem to take our faith seriously enough to act on it. This needs to change. We need to change our ways, and stand up for the values we believe in as people of faith. We need to call out bad faith for what it is, and find our way back to the revolutionary faith of Jesus who called out false leaders for what they were.

Unfortunately, the folks who fell into the white christian nationalist trap did take their faith seriously. They did act, but they didn’t realize they were being duped by a racist agenda and by leaders who turned a blind eye to Jesus’s actual teachings in order to gain political power.

Maybe the religious leaders thought they could return to Jesus once their president and his cronies had control of the White House, but at this point there are no efforts by those in leadership to uphold the values of justice, compassion and mercy that are at the heart of faith for Christians and all authentic religions. If anything, we are seeing the opposite. The vulnerable are being exploited. Honesty and integrity are being run over roughshod. Truth is being submersed in a quagmire of lies.

When encouraged to show mercy, rather than seeing this as an invitation to become a true leader in keeping with Christ’s teachings, the president lashed out, calling the preacher’s comments “nasty in tone” and saying she should not have brought politics into the church. But faith needs to speak up about politics, especially when those in leadership are causing harm.

From the beginning, Jesus spoke truth to power and encouraged his followers to do the same. Good faith depends on our speaking up and taking action. What will you do?

The Bindness of Privilege

I understand the draw of water, the sense of peace it offers. It makes sense to me that people find their way to the ocean for times of respite and relaxation. But for many people, such as Palestinians, peace is too distant for them to imagine.

The contrast that Trump tactlessly drew between the Riviera and war-torn Gaza horrified me. It was a blatant display of the ignorance that a life of privilege, and its concordant disconnection from the realities that most people face, brings. People in Gaza have lost everything - loved ones, homes, communities, their entire way of life! And he has the audacity to suggest that these people be relocated to a country that is not their home, while their homes and communities be bulldozed out of the way to create an upscale resort!

The ignorance of one’s privilege is bad enough, but it is appalling when the president we have elected to lead our country displays such blatant disregard for the lives of others. If we cannot count on our leader(s) to lead us with integrity, wisdom or compassion, then we need to step up and step out.

We need to refuse to be led into the white-supremacist world Trump envisions, and start doing everything we can to create a different, better world. Start where you are. Talk with your family, friends and neighbors about the privilege and racism being promoted by the current administration. Conspire with one another about ways to be the kind and compassionate people that this world needs in every situation.

It is only by standing up and stepping out of the dystopian reality that is attempting to infiltrate our lives, that we can create the reality in which all people are valued, respected, listened to, and believed.

Picking Up the Pieces

I have been experiencing a dry period with regard to my blog posts. My faith in humanity is shaken and I find myself needing time to recalibrate. It is simply beyond my comprehension that we have elected the current administration. There were so many signs that this was a bad idea, that I thought it was impossible for Trump to succeed in getting elected. How could so many people actually vote for someone who attempted to circumvent the democratic process once and clearly stated he would dismantle it if he got into office? How could people vote for a sexist, racist bully who wields wealth and power as if they give him the right to do whatever he wants? Did the people who voted for him think he was just kidding when he said all of those awful things? That he was using hyperbole? 

However it happened, after the election, I needed to take some time to deal with my disappointment, get over the shock, and regroup. But now, the negative effects are accumulating and I know it is time to pick up the pieces and speak up. I cannot even begin to enumerate all of the ways in which the safety rails many of us counted on are falling apart. Some dictates are coming down from Trump and the billionaires and other pandering folks who have gathered around him seeking their own piece of the power pie. But the effects that cause me the most alarm are the more localized ones. The more personal attacks enacted by everyday people.

Ugly text messages are being sent to children, attacking them on the basis of color, gender identity, or nationality. Hate mail and death threats are being sent to good people who are simply working toward justice in their communities. Confederate flags fly over homes, silently threatening the serenity and security of black and brown neighbors. School children mutter epithets under their breath to kids who are different from themselves, and the adults in their lives either encourage this behavior or throw up their hands in resignation, assuming they have no control over them.

I can't help but wonder if we have not necessarily lost control, but rather that we have chosen to abdicate control. It seems to me that many of us have given up our autonomy. We have abdicated our rights. Instead of discerning for ourselves what to think and how to respond in any given situation, we have given away the power of personal choice to the highest bidder. 

There is a lot of uncertainty right now, and along with uncertainty comes fear. When you don't know what is going to happen next, it can seem sensible to lay low for a while until we see what unfolds. The problem with this, is that our friends and neighbors, and a whole lot of people we may not know, are being affected negatively right now. If we hold back, if we withhold our comments until we are more certain, then it will already be too late to protect the most vulnerable in our midst. 

The time to speak up is now. Pay attention, and "if you see something, say something!" The time to act on behalf of justice for all, is now.

We Hold These Truths to be Self-Evident

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."

The Declaration of Independence does not mince words. It was crafted to state what our Founders were hoping to create in this brave new world as they freed themselves from Britain's rule. 

Our society's long standing agreement about what constitutes "the Truth" is under attack. Some news outlets blatantly promote a skewed version of events, meanwhile doing all they can to convince their followers that no other news sources can be trusted. Many social media outlets have stopped monitoring their feeds to ensure that false and misleading stories are labeled as such, and so it can be difficult to tell truth from fiction when searching for information. Truth is being undermined, eaten away by those who strive to manipulate how we see the world and how we perceive events.

It is a well-known principle that if something is repeated often enough, eventually it starts to carry the ring of truth. This happens even with things that begin their lives as blatant lies! When we are bombarded day after day with false statements, it becomes almost impossible to sift through them to recover the truth lying squashed under the weight of it all. I wonder if we can agree to any truths being self-evident anymore? 

Are all people created equal, or are some a little more "equal" - more important than others? Is someone more equal because of the color of their skin, the education they received, their gender identity or the size of their bank account? And while we are talking about this particular point, the Declaration was obviously written long before inclusive language took hold, stating "all men are created equal". For way too long women did not count as full citizens. Our foremothers had to fight for the right of women to even be seen as a person. We thought this was "settled law" but with everything else that is being called into question, how long will it be before women are no longer considered of equal status? Roe v Wade has already been struck down; what is next? What does this undermining of rights mean for people who don't conform to binary gender concepts? Are we going to allow ourselves or our country to go back? 

Are the Rights afforded to us really unalienable, meaning nonnegotiable? Do we each get to live our lives as we wish? Are we all operating under the same Liberties as other folks, or do some people get more leeway in their liberties than others? 

And what about the Pursuit of Happiness? It is difficult to experience happiness when my rights as a woman are being wrested from my hands. It is difficult to experience happiness when the president-elect and his team refuse to submit themselves to the ethics that govern everyone else. It is difficult, almost impossible to experience happiness when honesty, mutual respect, kindness, care for the vulnerable, and so many other values I thought we all agreed on, are under attack.

Abraham Lincoln called the Declaration “a rebuke and a stumbling-block to tyranny and oppression.” 

I sure hope Abe was right. I hope something blocks the tyranny and oppression that have started to infiltrate our country. I hope something trips up those who are intent on undermining the rights for which our Founders and many others fought so hard. Maybe that something is us. We the people can and must do the hard work of deciphering truth from falsehood. We can and must insist on maintaining and holding fast to the rights the Declaration of Independence promised us.

Hope Is a Dangerously Good Thing

 

I have been thinking about hope, particularly about the difference it makes when we have it versus when we don't. Several years ago I heard someone say that they thought hope was not a good thing, because it creates a false sense of relief from the pressures we may be facing. Illustrative of this viewpoint, Morgan Freeman's character, Otis "Red" Redding, in the 1994 movie, The Shawshank Redemption, says, "Hope is a dangerous thing, my friend, it can kill a man". Red believes that hope of escape or release can drive a man insane because it's unlikely to come true. Tim Robbins' character Andy Dufresne disagrees, saying, "Hope is a good thing, maybe even the best of things. And good things never die".

Andy has it right, I think, having experienced this for myself in the past few days. 

As has been true for many of us, the divisions that exist in our country, and even in the world at large, have been wearing me down. It seems that every day the news, no matter what outlet you choose, focuses on the most negative stories and perspectives they can find. I didn't realize that all of this negativity had such a profound affect on me until a little bit of hope broke through the rubble of negativity and I felt my spirits lift.

The sliver of hope was represented by President Biden choosing to stand aside rather than continuing to pursue another term as president. Leading up to this moment, I was discouraged by so many lawmakers, journalists and others publicly calling for him to do just this. These conversations should have happened in private, where honest discussion, weighing of ideas and sharing opinions could take place in a respectful way, without the entire world watching. 

Listening in on conversations I would rather not have been privy to, left me feeling exhausted and incredibly stressed. Add to this the violence of an assassination attempt on Trump, followed by white christian nationalists comparing him to Jesus, and claiming God had saved him so that he could in turn save America; I was traumatized and terrified. 

And I knew I had to speak up to defend the faith I hold and the God I served as pastor for more than 30 years.

The God I know, has higher standards than any small-minded human with their self-serving agenda. The God I know does not save one person's life at the cost of another's. The God I know does not place power in the hands of those who want that power for selfish reasons. The God I know has a long-standing preference for the poor. All of the things I know and love about the God I serve stand in stark contrast to the values espoused by white christian nationalists, their terrifying Project 2025, and the corrupt criminal candidate to whom they have sold their souls.

Back to that glimmer of hope I mentioned. By stepping aside for the good of the nation, for the good of democracy, President Biden has shown what it takes to be a true leader. He may have wanted to continue in the presidency for another four years, but he has placed the needs of the whole above his own personal agenda. This humble act of service is incredibly rare in this day and age. Simply stated, it gives me hope that we may actually rise out of the current maelstrom and continue this experiment in democracy. It gives me hope that every person might still be seen and heard, their rights respected and their votes counted.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

Emily Dickinson, "'Hope' is the Thing with Feathers" from The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson, edited by Thomas H. Johnson, ed., Cambridge, Mass.: The Belknap Press of Harvard University press, Copyright © 1951, 1955, 1979, 1983

Blind Justice

Lady Justice is depicted as being blindfolded, whenever she appears. This signifies that in the eyes of justice, everyone is treated equally. No one is more important than anyone else. No one's rights supersede anyone else's. This is even stated in the Declaration of Independence: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men (sic) are created equal,..." 

So, I am confused hearing that the Supreme Court of the United States is deliberating about whether the president is equal to everyone else, or if he or she is exempt from justice. How is it even possible that we are contemplating this? Why would we want our elected leader to be free from the laws that all of the rest of us are responsible to live up to? What is the benefit in this? It seems to me that this is a short step away from said elected leader declaring him or herself president for life rather than succumbing to elections when their term was up. (Which we already had a brush with, if you remember!)

It seems to me that we would want a president who was a role model; someone who leads the way in showing people how to live responsibly, honestly and upholding the laws of the land. I cannot get my head around the possibility that any honest person would want to put themselves above the law. To me, a leader should be one of the staunchest supporters of the laws of justice. At the very least, being a leader should mean doing one's absolute best to consider the needs of the whole nation above their own personal desires and whims. 

If a person thinks they are above the rules that govern everyone else, then their life has no moral center. If someone does not have a plumb line by which to judge when they are on course and when they are off, then that person could end up pretty far off course very quickly. And if that person was the president, then when this happened they take the entire country with them. Consider the problems this would create!

If the Supreme Court decides that the president is above the law, then Lady Justice may no longer be blindfolded, but her hands will be tied. Nothing good can come of this, and it horrifies me to know that people who are supposed to guard the integrity of our country do not see this as a terrible violation of one of the very principles they should be upholding. 

Diverting Conversation

Today my husband, Gary, and I drove to the end of Spruce Knob Road so we could take a walk on different section of it than we usually do. We parked in a small pull-off across from a field that had recently been hayed. Round bales lay in a haphazard fashion, and an old tractor was parked on the edge of the field near the road. Over the expanse, clouds, puffy and white piled up on top of one another and seemed to be constructed with an eye to setting off the deep blue of the sky. It was a beautiful August afternoon.

When we walk we are often torn between having a deep discussion about something that is on our minds or being quiet so that we can better take in our surroundings. Today felt like a day for silence to me. The beauty of the sky and the fields, the trees in their full summer greenery and the occasional bird flitting by demanded all of my attention.

After we had walked for a while, we came to a stream which had hardly any water. It was unusual to see it so dry, and Gary commented on the news he had read. "Some of the major rivers in Europe are drying up, and out in the Western US they are talking about diverting the Mississippi river to supply water to the drought-stricken Southwest."

I didn't really want to talk about it. Honestly, I didn't want to think about it either. I couldn't help remembering Mary Evelyn Tucker's comment nearly 20 years ago now at a Yale symposium I attended on climate change and the church. She said something to the effect that, if we didn't preach about climate change and encourage our churches to do something make a difference now, then we would be forced to talk about it soon enough because the results of it would become evident and catastrophic.

Well, things do feel pretty catastrophic, and despite the beauty of my surroundings, anxiety zips through my mind. I know there are many small things I can do to help ease the situation, and I do as many of them as I can manage. But I also know that real change will only happen when good, environmentally responsible decisions are made at the national and international levels. 

This means we need leaders who understand the issues and are willing to do what is right, despite the political fallout. This means helping our leaders find their way back to values like honesty, integrity and working for the good of all people and all inhabitants of the earth. It can be discouraging, to see how wealthy businesses and individuals continue to pursue financial gain rather than looking to do what is right for the whole. 

People ask me, "How can we deal with the frustration? How are we supposed to handle the anxiety and the stress all of this brings to our lives?" For me the answer lies in spending time in the natural world every day, even if I am just sitting on my porch for a little while. It means breathing in the air and paying attention to whatever is there - birds flying across my line of vision or a bee buzzing around my lunch, a lush garden of flowers or weeds poking up out of the sidewalk, clouds rolling up from the distant hills or a a trickling stream, my cat pushing at my hand for attention. 

Breathing in, I take in the freshness, the reality of this moment in time. Breathing out, I release the things that trouble me. I do this as long as it takes, until I feel a bit calmer, a little more prepared for my day. And then I stand up and put my hands and my heart toward whatever is next, whatever is needed of me.

God, Love & Truth

"God, Guns and Trump" is emblazoned on a barn that I have to drive by frequently. The flag first went up when the 2020 election was in full swing, but it is still hanging there and I can't help but see it as a threat to the democracy and the faith that I hold dear. 

The whole idea that God has anything to do with guns or with promoting a particular political candidate disgusts me, and I am speaking as a Christian, as a pastor of 38 years. Jesus was a pacifist who refused to seize power through force or any underhanded methods. Satan tempted him with power and authority over the nations of the world when Jesus was fasting in the wilderness. Jesus said "no" in very clear terms. He refused to make any deals with the devil even if the deal seemed to promote things that Jesus was working toward. 

Peter wielded a sword in Gethsemane, cutting off the ear of a Roman soldier who had come to arrest Jesus. Jesus told Peter to put his sword away. Scholars think that a part of Judas's frustration with Jesus was that he did not raise up an army to fight the Roman oppressors. Some of them say that Judas was trying to force Jesus's hand when he betrayed him to the authorities, wrongly assuming that Jesus would finally turn on them and fight.

Jesus's messages centered on Love, not violence. Yes, he did expect to win over the world and all of the earthly and political powers that were and are, but he expected to do so through the power of Love. He did not threaten his enemies with physical violence, but rather with the power of God, whom he saw as the God of Love. Jesus turned the world's understandings upside down. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you," (Matthew 5:43-44)

We are in challenging times, times in which love is being pushed to the side as not being a strong or effective force. We live in times when honesty is seen as a quaint character flaw of the naive rather than the central characteristic of a good person. We live in times when the idea of fairness has been subverted to mean, "if I have the power or the money, I can do whatever I want no matter who it crushes underfoot in the process." But I want to go on record saying that this attitude is not Christian. The end never justifies privilege-bought, deceitful or violent means, even if the end is something you think God wants. 

God's ways are not our ways. God has the power to work through Love and does not need our guns or dishonest politics in order to win the day. In fact, if you are not honest; if you need to resort to violence, then you have most likely strayed from the Way laid out by Jesus.

My prayer is that we can find our way back to a Christian faith that honestly reflects the values that Jesus embodied throughout his entire life.