looking confused
should I go
this way
or that?
wait for the wave
to rush over my feet
or run up into the hot sand?
we were so eager
get away from the
overbearing parents
always telling us
what to do
what not to
freedom seemed so appealing
back then
the adults made it look
so easy
floating on waves
dip your bill for a fish
lift up into the sky
sail through the air
but now
on our own
with my mottle-feathered gang
I'm hungry and bored
kind of cold too
missing mom and dad
Time has a way of continuing to move on. It doesn't matter if we are moving with it, or if we are watching it go past from our easy chair.
When I am in Florida, as I am now, time has a different quality to it than it does back in Vermont. Despite being here for several months, there is something of "vacation" about my time here. I struggle against this, by transporting my kombucha scoby and sourdough starter 1,434 miles, and making meals from scratch, despite the prevalence of dining options within walking distance once I arrive. I walk every day as I do back home, but here I have the luxury of choosing to walk on a beach or a palm-shaded path. I read the news and do the New York Times puzzles, but when I glance up and away from the screen, the inland waterway is glistening right in front of me, boats lazily making their way out to the sea for the day, and, just beyond them, the golf course stretches as far as I can see.
Florida wants to teach me how to slow down. It wants me to notice the beauty of a white bird foraging for bugs, a manatee swimming by, flowers in full bloom despite winter's chill, lizards darting across my path when I least expect them. I want to comply, I really do, and I think there is a part of me that might be starting to let time to flow by me or through me, but there is a greater part of me that still wrestles with it. There is something within me that assumes it is important to create meaning in every moment. There is a part of me that wants to prove I have achieved something with each day granted.
I imagine that someday I will discover that there is a balance between the two, a balance between achieving and learning how to appreciate and embrace the beauty of each moment. Maybe this is the year I will take the lesson to heart.
