Young'uns

wandering around

looking confused

should I go 

this way                        

                    or that?

wait for the wave 

to rush over my feet

or run up into the hot sand?

we were so eager 

get away from the

overbearing parents

always telling us

what to do                    

                    what not to

freedom seemed so appealing

back then

the adults made it look 

so easy

floating on waves

dip your bill for a fish

lift up into the sky

sail through the air

but now

on our own

with my mottle-feathered gang

I'm hungry and bored

kind of cold too

missing mom and dad

The Enigma of Time

Time has a way of continuing to move on. It doesn't matter if we are moving with it, or if we are watching it go past from our easy chair. 

When I am in Florida, as I am now, time has a different quality to it than it does back in Vermont. Despite being here for several months, there is something of "vacation" about my time here. I struggle against this, by transporting my kombucha scoby and sourdough starter 1,434 miles, and making meals from scratch, despite the prevalence of dining options within walking distance once I arrive. I walk every day as I do back home, but here I have the luxury of choosing to walk on a beach or a palm-shaded path. I read the news and do the New York Times puzzles, but when I glance up and away from the screen, the inland waterway is glistening right in front of me, boats lazily making their way out to the sea for the day, and, just beyond them, the golf course stretches as far as I can see.

Florida wants to teach me how to slow down. It wants me to notice the beauty of a white bird foraging for bugs, a manatee swimming by, flowers in full bloom despite winter's chill, lizards darting across my path when I least expect them. I want to comply, I really do, and I think there is a part of me that might be starting to let time to flow by me or through me, but there is a greater part of me that still wrestles with it. There is something within me that assumes it is important to create meaning in every moment. There is a part of me that wants to prove I have achieved something with each day granted. 

I imagine that someday I will discover that there is a balance between the two, a balance between achieving and learning how to appreciate and embrace the beauty of each moment. Maybe this is the year I will take the lesson to heart.

So Much Space: An Exercise in Trust

 

So much space

expanses of time

breathing room, for sure

but for what?

Leaving work life

I imagined

opportunities 

unfurling at my feet

showing themselves

in splendor and possibility.

I find myself 

weighing the choices

looking far down each path

but more unsure than Frost

which one is for me

where my destiny lay

that "one wild"

and don't forget, 

"precious" life

I long for

and imagined

was searching for me.

Now,

here I stand

arms open

expectant

heart welcoming

daring to hope

seeking a glimpse

of what may come

into this space

that is my life

Trees and I

I have a fondness for trees, 

a relationship, really

as it goes both ways

between trees and me

as I walk through the woods,

it is common 

for me to speak 

to the trees as I pass

reserving particular attention

for the elders,

those who have been around

for a while

wisdom seeps into me

as I walk by

reaching out

to caress the bark

of sister Pine

as I prepare to step over the stream

to touch the leaves

clinging to brother Oak

despite winter's chilly winds 

The quiet

the peace

soaking into me

in the forest depths

heals something within

that I did not know needed healing

 

Keep Breathing

 If breathing

is what we do

together

then how is it different

when I am on my own,

when I am waiting

for that magical moment

of joining in with friends

breath to breath?

“Breathe deeply

let go of everything

except the breath”

Breathing is essential to life

something we do

without thought or planning,

so these moments

in between

breathing alone

and breathing with others

can be chalked up to

just breathing

So Many Decembers

so many Decembers

I long for snow

for some sign

that the season is 

more than sticks of brown 

against grey skies

today, a gift

bright blue overhead

cumulous clouds floating by

sparkles everywhere

as snow continues to fall

 

Bear Tracks & Gratitude

When I visit my sister, down in New Jersey, we make sure to take a nice long walk together. It was late afternoon when we found our way to the trail on this snowy and cold December day. "Let's go to the second bridge," she suggested, and I agreed. 

We walked along, talking about our lives. Fresh from our uncle's funeral, we reminisced about our childhood, when our families gathered to celebrate the holidays. The length of time between then and now took our breath away. We walked in silence for a while.

Reaching the second bridge, I saw tracks in the snow. Bear tracks. Sue went on ahead of me, while I stood over the tracks, taking pictures and marveling that only a short time ago, a bear had walked this very path! 

The encounter got me to wondering about all the creatures who walk along the same paths as we, of whom we never see any sign. I thought about our responsibility for those hidden neighbors, to ensure the waters run clear and the winds blow fresh. To ensure that there is freedom and space for the wild ones who prefer to keep their distance.

I also contemplated the uplift my heart feels whenever I see a sign that some rare (or common) creature has passed this way. The gift of knowing that we share this place, this earth, with those who are so different from us, and yet who are also, in some unique ways, so similar.

Gratitude filled me up, and buoyed my spirit as Sue and I, and her faithful dog, Nik turned back toward home.

Beautiful Silence

The snow is falling steadily today

beautiful

just beautiful

but

when it comes to snow

vision is not primary

such silence

everything hushed so profoundly

I hear each snowflake

fall through the sky

a descant

coming down to earth

landing as a tiny secret

indistinguishable to the eye

 from all the rest

beautiful

just beautiful

 

Thanksgiving

I am grateful for the little things that make life so meaningful:

Nourishment for body, mind and spirit

Family gatherings

Friends around the table

Conversations that draw me in

Sunshine after clouds

Earthy scents of fresh air

Flowing streams and ocean waves

Deep breaths that calm

Smiles of welcome

A full heart

 

Tiny Doses of Gratitude

 

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and because of this, thoughts of gratitude are in the air. 

So often, we think that gratitude has to be related to something BIG. We assume that the bigger the better, the bigger, the more gratitude generated. But I just listened to a program on the radio on which the professor spoke of research that has proven gratitude is especially valuable when we feel it for many little things throughout our day.

It is better to look for and notice small things you are grateful for as you go about your daily life. Weaving appreciation through your day is more effective in terms of actually helping us become more grateful, more positive, than setting aside a special time to reflect on what you are grateful for once a day.

The whole idea is to build your gratitude muscle, as you might any other muscle. 

The picture I posted above is of my favorite vacation place. When I am there, I definitely feel gratitude for all I see and experience. But what that story reminded me, is to recognize what I am grateful for in my ordinary life. To remember that there is extraordinary value in appreciating the simple pleasures of my home and my life here. 

Tiny doses of gratitude can add up to big changes in attitude.